Religious Zen

This is about more than a quote.

This is my spiritual life’s journey in a very brief nutshell. It recounts some of my time working with the church, and my eventual separation from it. It tells how I found some new beliefs, and let some old ones go on the way. The reason I am writing this is because if I can help just one person get more confident in themselves rather than co-dependency on any belief system, or its leaders, then I have accomplished my purpose for writing.

I used to be a people pleaser.

In a way I still am, but not like it was before. I used to want to make people of my old beliefs happy. I did this while suppressing the real me on the inside. Pushing your real self down on the inside while making others like you is one of the worst things a person can do to themselves next to suicide.

I did this for about two years before I ran across a quote that changed my life. I visited a big city for a day. As I was walking down a street I saw this quote on a bookstore window:

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

-Andre Gide

Maybe it was because I had always felt that way, but could never put it into words. Perhaps it was because the group of people I was always around told me it was better to be like a sheep than to think for myself.

Whatever it was, this quote literally sent chills up my spine. It was empowering. It was a ticket to my spiritual and emotional freedom.

This quote on a window staring happily at passersby spoke more than all the volumes on philosophy, freedom, and religion I’ve ever read.

For all of my life I was told to shut up, and fit in. Those weren’t the exact words, but I saw over the years what happened to people who left the church I was at (and even other churches I had been to and worked with): they were talked about relentlessly, and ruthlessly. For a religion that follows the advice of a person who only says, “Love others,” they practiced hatred and gossip.

I am not speaking bad of Christianity itself. Far from it. The teachings of Jesus are absolutely wonderful. He was full of compassion and love for people. In fact, the only people he was ever intolerant of or chastised was the people who were judgmental!

For many years before I began to break away, I stuck by it regardless. I loved the people. I loved helping them even if I was showing them a way I didn’t believe in. I saw lives transformed from bad to good. But if I ever messed up- did something the pastor thought was wrong- I heard about it. In a very subtle, threatening manner he would tell me that leaders will be held accountable for their actions. What a great person to volunteer my time for!

I began to look at other ways to express my spiritual beliefs. I eventually went down the path that I am writing about in my Simplify Your Spiritual Life series. I got rid of what didn’t work for me. I then wrote down what was important to me. Then, I chose a path that did work for me.

All a long, it was this quote that helped me. It told me that I could be free! It didn’t matter what other people thought of me. I could do what I want with my life, and if people got mad at me for it- at least I’m not a fake person anymore.

Are you like this in your journey so far? Are you constantly pleasing people at the expense of your own beliefs or even livelihood? Don’t get me wrong- we ought to be nice to everyone- but that doesn’t mean we should be doormats for some of the deepest parts of our soul and emotions.

I desire above all that you become free, from whatever it is that might be holding you down. Write down the above quote somewhere where you’ll see it everyday, especially if you’re trying to break free of some holds that people have on you. You are your own person. You make your own decisions.

Unlike my other articles, this one doesn’t have a lot of practical application other than: get out there and be yourself! Be the person you were born to be, and not the person other people think you should be. Don’t look back on a wasted life of pleasing others while your own soul dims to a flicker. Instead, let it burn ablaze with who you are.

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